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How Irish are you?
SOPHIA LAWHEAD
A&E Co-Editor
LEWIS AND CLARK
Saint Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, a celebration of all things Irish. As the saying goes, everyone is Irish on St. Paddy’s Day, but is this really a responsibility that you are ready to shoulder? Check your Irish levels with this simple test:
How Irish Are You?: A St. Patrick’s Day Quiz
Chose A, B or C
A.Your last name starts with a Mc
B.Your last name starts with an O
C.Your last name is unpronounceable.
Your favorite foods are:
A.Lucky Charms
B.Corned beef and cabbage
C.Bitter tears and aching guilt
In your family:
A.You have more than one sibling
B.You have more than three siblings
C.You have more than twenty-six siblings
You and your friends get into fisticuffs:
A.Rarely
B.Only when they steal your Tech-Deck
C.You are fighting someone right now.
You dream of attending:
A.Harvard
B.Notre Dame
C.The FIFA World Cup
Soccer is:
A.Stupid
B.Fun to play when the TV breaks
C.Life
Do you believe in Leprechauns?
A.Not really
B.You saw one in the park once
C.You are a Leprechaun
Irish Spring commercials make you:
A.Change the channel
B.Laugh and pipe a little tune
C.Long for the homeland
When someone says the word “green,” what first comes into your mind?
A.Jungle rot
B.Money
C.Clover
It’s Prom and you’re out on the dance floor. What moves are you busting?
A.A little bit of iPod dancing
B.Some buck-nasty freak moves
C.You’re leading the place in a rousing jig
You’re up late watching TV. What’s on?
A.Law and Order Reruns
B.Conan O’Brien
C.Highlander
Admit it, you’re mad crushing on:
A.Johnny Depp
B.James McAvoy
C.Michael Flatley, The Lord of the Dance
A hottie in your math class gives you the eye. Your re- sponse is:
A.A note asking him/her on a date, with the option to check yes or no
B.Reciting him/her a James Joyce love poem
C.Hiring a squad of bagpipers to play him/her “My Heart Will Go On.”
Mostly A’s
You are in danger of being pinched to death this St. Patrick’s day if you don’t get a little more Irish in you. Try dancing with rainbows in wide fields of clover.
Mostly B’s
Your levels are hovering right around Kelly green, but you aren’t really Irishing to your full potential. A little red hair dye and some painted-on freckles can really add that extra touch, and come March 17, no one will think to challenge your Celtic pride.
Mostly C’s
Blarney stones and trouser cuffs! You have a level of Irishness that could rival St. Patrick himself. The Irish of Olde will watch on with pride as you lead the St. Patrick’s Day parade through the streets of downtown dressed only in a top hat and a flag of Ireland.
And to get into the general chat:
Em This is the word Irish folk use when pausing to think. It takes the place of the "um" and "uh" that Americans prefer. This two-letter word alone will radically alter your perceived Irishness if you can learn to use it pervasively and unconsciously. This is perhaps the single most commonly used expression in speech, so with this one change alone, you can drastically alter your accent.
Cheers This word is obviously a drinking toast, but more importantly, it is an-all purpose aloha-like tool. You can use it to thank people, to greet them, and to say goodbye. Work it in liberally.
Lad Any male, though usually one of whom you're fond; when pluralized, it can be used to describe a group of males and females.
C'mere Literally, "come here," but it is really just an opening expression that means, "listen" or even just "hey." So if you ever want to get someone's attention, or to begin almost any sentence, bust this out. C'mere, do you follow?
Right This is another all-purpose expression of determination or clarification. "Right, is that a gin & tonic for you and a pint for your friend?" or "Right, you'll be coming home with me then?" If you don't open with "c'mere," this is your other option.
Fag A cigarette. This is an important one, be sure to get it right.
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